The starting point for this post is this question and the behaviour of the poster.
The person is clearly stressed and is starting to become irritated. The reason behind their stressful situation is unknown. But if the person is kept within the "stress region", things are not going to become better for them.
Of course, there is always the danger for someone to "play the game". I do not have a citation for this, but I feel that this might be something innate.
In toddlers for example, there is something called "Planned Ignoring" where, the carer figure ignores a behaviour of the child that the child uses to grab attention or achieve a goal. In that situation, there is something called the "Escalation trap". The carer gets irritated because they perceive this action from the child as "pre-planned", so they become firmer, the child then escalates their behaviour which leads the parent to either escalate or "give in". (So what I am referring to "the game" here, is someone pretending to be distressed to get what they are after. Note here, I am not saying that they do it consciously, that they are evil.)
In our language this is called positive feedback. "Planned Ignoring" is negative feedback. It discourages a specific behaviour and avoids escalating things further, out of a region where both the carer and the child can be cooperative.
For one reason or another, these things are hard-wired inside us. And sometimes we cannot escape them.
Some of this stuff, you come across because of work. Some others, because of mistakes. While we learn from mistakes, sometimes it is impossible to correct mistakes (in an "undo" kind of way. There is always time for self improvement of course).
Clearly, this board involves human interaction. But I am not sure how much we are "trained" to recognise positive from negative stress. All learning involves stress. But there might be other things, around the learning that push someone to a region where they will completely shutdown or revert to a learned behaviour.
But looking around, I could not find a "course" or a resource about learning some of this stuff for adults in a practical and concise way.
Does anyone know of such courses or resources?
I could find this guide for example that is very usefull, but I am not sure if it is comprehensive enough.
What do you guys think?
Recent events have prompted me to revisit this post regarding "stress". Maybe it is worth expanding it to other external factors that may be driving the behaviour of a person to such an extent that it can allow certain behaviours to permeate throughout the board.
I was amazed by the sheer effort and genuine attempts of at least 4 contributors on this board over the span of many hours to genuinely understand what the point of a question was but instead, line by line, argument by counter-argument descending into an unproductive, convoluted interaction that stops being about about a technical issue and becomes the main issue.
I think that it is worth having a think on recognising these interactions and steping back in time, before they blow up and become counter-productive.
Recognising it and handling it in a dissociated and calm way. And to extreme cases, this might also be the right thing to do to "protect" the other person whose state, as evidenced from just what they are writing and how they express themselves is already clearly upset.